The Banana Quest

Clive had been married for approximately four hours when Bobo informed him he had to go on a quest.

"A quest," Clive repeated.

"The Banana Quest!" Bobo said it like it was capitalised. Like it deserved trumpets. "You have to find the sacred bananas to prove your loyalty to the troop."

"What makes a banana sacred?"

Bobo looked at him like he'd asked what makes water wet. "They're really good bananas, Clive."

So off they went — Clive, Bobo, a monkey named Zazu who wore a belt made of sticks and seemed to think this made him fashionable, and Pogo, a small monkey who had developed an immediate and aggressive crush on Clive.

"You're so brave," Pogo said, walking so close to Clive that she kept stepping on his hooves.

"I'm really not."

"And strong."

"I weigh about as much as a large dog."

"And your wool is like a cloud."

"Please stop touching my wool."

The jungle closed around them as they walked. It was nothing like the savanna — dark, dense, loud with insects and bird calls and the occasional shriek of something Clive hoped was far away. Vines hung from every branch. The air was so thick with moisture that Clive's wool started to expand, making him look like a sheep-shaped cloud.

"How much further?" Clive asked after what felt like hours.

"We're close!" Bobo said, which he'd been saying every ten minutes since they left.

Zazu was narrating the journey like a nature documentary. "And here we see the woolly sheep, deep in unfamiliar territory, his fleece glistening with the humidity of the equatorial jungle—"

"Zazu, I will sit on you."

"—his temperament, fiery."

They found the grove just as Clive was considering lying down and becoming part of the jungle floor. It was a clearing, and in the centre stood the most absurdly perfect banana trees Clive had ever seen. The fruit hung in enormous bunches, golden and gleaming, and the whole place smelled sweet enough to make his teeth ache.

"These are the sacred bananas?" Clive asked.

"THE sacred bananas," Bobo corrected, his voice hushed with reverence.

"They look like regular bananas."

"Clive. Clive, Clive, Clive." Bobo put a paw on his shoulder. "You have so much to learn."

Clive started picking. He had no idea which ones were "right" — they all looked the same to him — so he just grabbed the biggest bunches he could reach. Pogo helped by standing very close and handing him bananas one at a time while gazing at him.

"We could be a team, you know," Pogo said. "You and me. Partners."

"I literally got married four hours ago."

"To Lulu. But I'm *right here*."

Clive loaded up his arms with bananas and turned back toward the jungle. "We're going. Now. Before this gets any more complicated."

It got more complicated.